Pool freakshow’st tuleb varsti ju Eestisse

Nädalavahetus on möödunud mõttetu surfimise tähe all, mis on iseenesest mind viinud kick-ass meelelahutus-saitideni. Nagu näiteks cracked.com oma erinevate edetabelitega. Üks fragment kontsentreerub Dr. Dre ja Snoop’i persekukkunud sõnaseadmisele:

Lyrics: “Gap teeth in ya mouth so my dick’s gots to fit / With my nuts on ya tonsils”

Dr. Dre followed by Snoop Dogg, “Fuck Wit’ Dre Day”

Here, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg decide the best way to voice their displeasure with Eazy-E is to rap about sexually assaulting him. In fact, the song contains countless lines that would be at home at a prison rape orgy (we’ve been to many of these), including “It’s time for the doctor to check your ass,” “Play with my bone, would ya Timmy?” “I’m hollering 187 with my dick in your mouth,” “Luke’s bending over, so Luke’s getting fucked,” and, of course, “Eazy-E can eat a big fat dick.” That’s not even mentioning the above one-two punch of outrage. First, Dr. Dre claims that his dick can fit between Eazy-E’s two front teeth, which is both the least impressive brag about dick size in rap history and proof that Dr. Dre has no idea how fellatio is performed. Next, Snoop drops in to serve notice that his nuts are in fact on Eazy’s tonsils, which would give Snoop the longest scrotum in recorded history. We’re not 100 percent sure why that’s supposed to be impressive.

Grrrreat!!!

Sloooooooow cooooming woooomaaaaan*

Kuna haiged inimesed tööl ei käi, siis on mul olnud terve päev aega end internetis leiduvate idiootsustega lõbustada. Ja nüüd midagi laulusõnade valdkonnast. Ikka kuuled vahel valesti, nagu mina Rob Thomasega näiteks. Aga oh boy, this is unreal:

Artist: Will Smith
Song: Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It
Real Lyric: Gettin’ Jiggy Wit it
Misheard Lyric: Hit the chicken with it

* aeglaselt tuleva naise kohta on siin vähe pikemalt. Otsene vihje: suits vee peal

UPDATE:

ma lähen ja koolen nüüd naeru kätte, sest nohuga irvitamine loob peas tõelise rõhu ja ma vist plahvatan varsti:

Song: Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Misheard Lyric: I want a duck shaped like a triangle, you give a toaster to Bob
Correct Lyric: I want to fuck you like an animal, you get me closer to God

Mis mõttes sa trukid mu sõbranjesid?

Raadio playlistis tuli just Rob Thomase lugu “Lonely No More”. Ma olen kogu aeg mõelnud, et mida kukke, mees, mida sa laulad?

“Open up to me-I could do your girlfriends.“

Täna tabasin lõpuks ära, et ta laulab hoopis

“Open up to me-Like you do your girlfriends.”

Duh.

Idiootseimad laulusõnad 1

Timbaland “Bounce” (Featuring Missy Elliott, Justin Timberlake)

Bounce (like yo’ ass had the hiccups)
Bounce (like we was ridin’ in my pick-up)

Vabas tõlkes:

Põrkle, nagu su perse luksuks

põrkle, nagu me sõidaks mu veoautos