Large Hadron Collideriga seotud paranoiapuhang

Posted in Internet, Peltsebul ise, Uus meedia by peltsebul on 5. sept. 2008

Tänu Large Hadron Collider’i 10. septembril toimuvale käivitamisele, olen ma häirivalt palju mõelnud maailma lõpule. Paranoiale pani alguse artikkel, milles läbi huumori prisma kirjutati sellest, kuidas LHC suure tõenäosusega meie maailma perse keerab. Väga lõbustav, muide:

Scientists are kind of pissed that they weren’t around when the Big Bang happened. Here we had an event that holds all of the secrets to reality, and we missed it because we were lazy enough not to evolve for another 13 billion years.

The solution, science says, is to make it happen again. They assure us that they can stage a new Big Bang if they smash some protons together really, really fucking hard. In fact, they can make a million of them per second, which is 999,999 more than God managed. /—/

Meet the Large Hadron Collider.

This is not only the largest particle accelerator ever built, it’s the largest anything ever built. Originally set to come online in 2005, then delayed until September 2008, the LHC will fire very small objects around its 17-mile circumference at close to the speed of light, before smashing the shit out of them and watching what comes out.

The problem, of course, is that even the eggheads don’t really know what’s going to happen, which is sort of why they’re doing it in the first place. That’s also why a lawsuit was filed to put a stop to it. Scientists on the LHC project insist there is no danger, and predict that the resulting observations could revolutionize science and send us into a golden age of knowledge, in the event that we actually survive.

Tasakaalustuseks üks rõõmsam artikkel ka:

A new report provides the most comprehensive evidence available to confirm that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC)’s switch-on, due on Wednesday next week, poses no threat to mankind. Nature’s own cosmic rays regularly produce more powerful particle collisions than those planned within the LHC, which will enable nature’s laws to be studied in controlled experiments.

Nali naljaks, kusi kaljaks – eile kõnelesime sellest K-ga ja oma suureks üllatuseks avastasime, et kui tõesti, oleks ette teada ja kindel, et ülehomme on maakeraga vsjoo, ei tahakski nagu midagi erilist teha. Ei mingit delfiinidega ujumist, langevarjuhüppeid, armastusavaldusi ega midagi. Jõudsime arusaamale, et me läheks sõprade ja lähedastega kõrtsi, istuks maha ja võtaks soliidselt napsu. Pikemal juurdlemisel leidsin ma siiski paar asja, mida ma tahaks enne maakera hävimist teha.

– kangeid narkootikume tarbida (et koledat reaalsust peletada. Muidugi on võimalus, et erinevate ainete all muutub ümbritsev õudus veel kohutavamaks, ent selle riski peaks siis võtma). Aga üldiselt onju, drugs are bad, mmmmmkay.

– siis ja ainult siis, kui mõni ebasümpaatne poliitik (nimesid nimetamata) astuks lambist meie väljavalitud kõrtsi sisse, tahaks ma proovida, kuidas oleks talle tikk-kontsaga munadesse virutada. Just for the fun of it. Aga ise küll spetsiaalselt kuskile sõitma ei hakkaks.


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  1. jtankers said, on 5. sept. 2008 at 14:53

    CERN’s position is that they have ruled out any possible danger. The position of the organized safety opposition is that CERN is not being completely open and honest about the possible danger.

    Cosmologist Dr. Raj Baldev of India writes “the scientists are fully aware that it is not a project without a grave risk to the life of the Earth” and Dr. Paul J. Werbos of the National Science Foundation writes “… stake the very survival of all life on earth on the truth of their ZPE stuff! … a gamble.” [4]

    A Brief History of LHC safety issues follows:

    In 2004 CERN announced the possibility that micro black holes might be created by the Large Hadron Collider possibly at a rate of one per second but believed they would evaporate.[2]

    Several physicists wrote papers concluding that black holes do not radiate.[1][3][10]

    In 2007, former cosmic ray researcher and Nuclear Safety Officer Walter L. Wagner discovered flaws with CERN’s safety arguments. He believes that the Large Hadron Collider might create dangerous particles including strangelets possibly with Earth destroying potential, he filed a US Federal law suit to require proof of safety after CERN failed to deliver a promised safety report.[5]

    In response, CERN scientists created a safety report in 2008 that argues no real chance of danger. [6]

    After review, German Astrophysicist (Physics PHD) Dr. Rainer Plaga argues that CERN’s new report does not prove safety. Dr. Plaga proposes that CERN follow additional safety procedures to help reduce the danger, including proceeding slowly. [7]

    On August 14th, CERN’s Dr. Jonathan Ellis stated that there is no real danger and they will not proceed slowly, collisions will begin in a few weeks. [8] (Collisions are probably not possible that soon, CERN does not tend to meet their own time schedules).

    Another German scientist famous for contributions to Chaos theory, founder of Endophysics and visiting professor of physics Dr. Otto E. Rössler theorizes that if micro black holes are created in the Large Hadron Collider, they could grow large enough to destroy Earth in decades or centuries.[9]

    Dr. Rössler requests that an emergency safety conference be held before collisions begin. He is due to meet Swiss President Pascal Couchepin to discuss safety concerns.[11]

    On August 26, 2008, suit was filed against CERN in the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg alleging the Large Hadron Collider poses grave safety risks.[12]

    [1] Do black holes radiate?. Dr. Adam Helfer (2003)

    [2] The case for mini black holes, CERN Courier (2004)

    [3], On the existence of black hole evaporationyet again, Prof. VA Belinski (2006)

    [4] What the Experts Say (2008)

    [5] US Federal Lawsuit Filings – Walter L. Wagner (2008)

    [6] The safety of the LHC, Web Site – CERN (2008)

    [7] On the potential catastrophic risk from metastable quantum-black holes produced at particle colliders – Rainer Plaga Rebuttal (2008)

    [8] CERN?s Dr. Ellis tells only half of the story – (2008)

    [9] Abraham-Solution to Schwarzschild Metric Implies That CERN Miniblack Holes Pose a Planetary Risk, Prof. Dr. Otto Rossler (2008)

    [10] A Rational and Moral and Spiritual Dilemma – Otto E. Rössler Safety Counter Arguments (2008)

    [11] Safety of the Large Hadron Collider (2008)

    [12] European Legal Action (2008)

  2. peltsebul said, on 5. sept. 2008 at 15:20

    korralik Communication Management…

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